Business Writing Fall 2017 Blogs

I had taken longer on this recall practice than I normally do, and I scored lower than I normally do. From what Lance mentioned in class the average was higher than normal and so, I read into the chapters rather than hope for the best.

 

In the closing of a routine information or request email, its best not to include an action or summary.

The answer is false. It is still proper to include an action or summary. My thinking that due to the routine nature of the email, most would disregard the ending was wrong.

 

“Please advise on your procedure for ordering photograph prints” is a better opening for a routine request message about ordering photographs than “I’m running a workshop for my classmates on basic photography techniques.”

I don’t get this one still, from what I understand these are two completely different ideas and therefore would have different expectations for the rest of the email. the “please advise” email would be more for how do you order photograph prints while the second is a statement on photography tips.

• Which sections/aspects of the report body are disconnected from or irrelevant to the main issues identified in the executive summary?

“Does that mean SEC schools require a larger amount of contributions to fund their
budget because of shortfalls in other sources of revenue? Or does it mean that some SEC schools
are able to spend more because they choose to take larger distributions from their booster club or
athletic foundation?” is a part of the report body that is disconnected from the executive summary because the writer is suppose to have the answers to this question.

 

• Which sections seem disconnected/unaware of each other?

“Some people also donate money because they want to see their college sports team
strive and win to be apart of the championship.”  This sentence that is part of the reason why people donate section is disconnected from the report because there was a whole section about people donating to the sports teams.  This sentence is not needed at all.

Date: October 18, 2017

To: Lance Uyeda

From: Brandon Najarian

Subject: Research Project Status Update

This memo describes the progress both my team and I have made in respect to our final research project on Hawaii’s cost of living and its effects on students. Additional sources have been analyzed, some of which will be used in the final report and some that will not. Overall, progress has been made in certain areas and the team is on track to meet the due date.

Background: In preparation for the assignment, our team began briefly researching the topic of the cost of living in Hawaii. Though this is not the primary focus of our report, we were looking at the quality as well as the availability of hard data from the state. Finding that the information was readily available, we began to search for data that reflected the nations average cost of living, both year-over-year increases, and averages, which was also available.

Work Completed: Over the past few days, our team has decided on a thesis statement and general direction the report will be heading. We have also begun to delegate duties and responsibilities to each other and began to work on our meeting schedule. I’ve also interviewed my financial aid counselor regarding how the cost of living is calculated within FAFSA and, invariably, EFC. Our group has also begun to explore other sources of information such as EBSCO and various .gov websites.

New Information: According to the website expatisan.com, Hawaii ranked 6^th most expensive city in the United States and 17^th in the world (with Hawaii having the most expensive toilet paper in the entire world). Also, according to the same website, the average monthly rent for a 900-square foot unit is $2100.00, with monthly utilities per person priced at $205.00. Expatisan gathers this data from various government agencies such as the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OCDE), and the Bureau of Labor Statistics among others. This data will prove invaluable when composing our final report, and because Expatisan gathers information from reliable sources, it’s easily verifiable.

Another relevant and important article was found through Pacific Business News, and it’s titled “UH resident tuition jumps 137% over past 10 years”. The article compares the elevation in UH’s resident tuition over a period of 10 years beginning in 2004 and ending in 2014 and states that the University of Hawaii at Manoa has had the largest tuition increase in the nation over the 10-year period. The article also references reliable sources such as the Hawaii State Data Book (which is compiled using data from various government agencies) as well as information directly from the university itself. The most striking and, I believe, important fact was that in 2004, the university’s resident tuition per semester was $1,704.00, compared to 2015-16 school year which was $5,172.00. This fact alone will prove relevant for our final paper and provides a stark look at the universities rising tuition costs and how that, coupled with the 6^th highest cost of living in the nation, can dramatically impact students and student debt.

Work to be completed: I believe that our next step is to decide who our audience is, then we will have a better idea of what the overall tone of our paper should be. After that, we need to decide whether we will be comparing Hawaii to the rest of the nation or one specific state. Only after that decision is made, will we be able to continue our research. Though we began the research process, more is definitely needed. After we compile all our data, we will then have to organize it in relation to our reports structure. Next, we will need to refine our PowerPoint presentation to complement our final report and presentation.  Finally, we will need to finalize and practice our presentation.

Anticipated problems: From what I gather, I believe our biggest issues will be the following:

1. Scheduling meetings
2. Organizing/compiling data
3. Practicing presentation

By November 29, our final report will be completed and our presentation will be ready.

 

References:

“Cost of Living in Honolulu, Hawaii, United States. Oct 2017 prices in Honolulu, Hawaii.” Expatistan, cost of living comparisons, Expatistan, 2017, http://www.expatistan.com/cost-of-living/honolulu.

Galagher, Kathleen. “UH resident tuition jumps 137% over past 10 years.” Bizjournals.com, Pacific Business News, 25 Mar. 2016, 13:3p, http://www.bizjournals.com/pacific/news/2016/03/25/uh-resident-tuition-jumps-137-over-past-10-years.html.

PWC 11: Progress Report

Date: October 19, 2017

To: Lance Uyeda, ENG:209 Business Writing Professor

From: Kellie-Ann Kahumoku, WCC Student

Subject: Research Project Status Update

 

This memo describes the progress of both my team and I have made to our search about the Pell Grant Program and how it benefits low-income and moderate-income students and why U.S. Federal Government must increase the fundings instead of decreasing its budget. Additional  sources have been analyzed, some of which will be used in the final report and some that will not. Overall progress has been made in certain areas and the team is on track to meet the due date.

 

Background: In preparation for this assignment, our team began briefly researching the topic on budget cuts for the pell grant. Our primary focus of our report is to delegate the problems that are identified with low/level funding or proposed funding cuts to the Pell Grant program. We are looking at the quality as well as availability of hard data to compare how expensive tuition is and How many apply for the pell grant. Finding that information was readily available, we began to search for data that reflected how eligibility affects those who don’t get fundings vs the ones that do and Donald Trump’s Bill for Proposed Budget Cuts.

 

Work completed: Over the past few days, our team has decided on a thesis statement and general direction the report will be heading. We have also begun to delegate duties and responsibilities to each other and began to work on our meeting schedule. Our group has also begun to explore sources of information on the distribution of funding to different states over time as well as proposed cuts: Past-Present and how the pell grant is making college education a top priority.

 

Source Information: A relevant and important research report found in luminafoundaton.org, and it’s titled “Beyond Financial Aid: How colleges can strengthen the financial stability of low-income students and improve student outcomes.” The research report describes unfortunately, too many students find it far too hard to attain a college education because of the rising costs and increasing levels of unmet needs. Low-income college students struggle financially to meet day-to-day needs such as housing, transportation, health care, and child care which make it difficult for them to even commit to affording an education. This data will help support why we need to continue to increase the funds for the pell grant.

 

Work to be completed: I believe that our next step is to decide who our audience is, then we will have a better idea of what the overall tone of our paper should be. After we compile all our data, we will then have to organize it in relation to our reports structure. Next, we will need to refine our Powerpoint presentation to complement our final report and presentation. Finally, we will need to finalize and practice our presentation.

 

Anticipated problems: From what I gather, I believe our biggest issues will be the following:

 

1. Scheduling meetings
2. Organizing/compiling data
3. Practicing presentation

 

By December 4, our final report will be completed and out presentation will be ready.

 

References:

 

Chaplot, Priyadarshini, et al. “Beyond Financial Aid How colleges can strengthen the financial

stability of low-Income students and improve student outcomes.” Luminafoundation.org,

June 2015, www.luminafoundation.org/files/publications/BFA/Beyond.Financial.Aid.pdf.

Question 1 A persuasive message should open immediately with its suggestion or request. Answer: False Again, I misread the question Chapter 8 pg. 213 Opening: suggest reader benefits; not open immediately with its suggestion. In the  Body: is where the purpose of the request is made.

Question 4 Itʻs not important in a persuasive message for the recipient to have some idea about the senderʻs knowledge or experience. Answer. False Its those + – questions that get me confused. I guess it is important for the sender to establish credibility according to Body Chapter 8 pg. 213.

Question 6 Aspects of persuasion include 1) logic/reasoning, 2) emotional appeals, and 3) speakerʻs credibility. Answer: True  All the aspects can be found in Chapter 8:  1) Logical Development pg. 216, 2) Rational, Emotional and Dual Appeal pg. 222 and 3) Establishing credibility pg. 213 although like Question 4 I think it is hidden and not outlined or emphasized.

For question 2: You should consider approaching an audience that needs to be educated about your topic–especially if it’s a complex topic–as though you’re presenting bad news.

I missed this question due to rushing and not taking the time to read the question good. Had I read the question carefully I think I would have gotten the question right. After reading it over I realized the part that should have given it away is the part that says “a complex topic” because of course if your talking to a group who don’t have a deep understanding about your topic your going to include more details and spend more time explaining things and it would be formatted closer to how one would format presenting bad news. I think it just felt like presenting bad news and educating an audience would be different so I chose false.

For our recall practice 2 I got #3, #7 wrong.

#3. Which sentence uses the “active voice”? I don’t recall why I A) A customer service blog was initiated last year instead of the correct answer B) The manager completed performance reviews for all employees.

#7.  Which of the following about the direct organizational strategy is incorrect?

I misread the question which is a recurring theme in my blogs about our recall tests but I thought we were choosing which one was correct so when it asks “Which of the following about the direct organizational strategy is incorrect”? I chose B) It sets a proper frame of mind putting the messages purpose up front.

 

I got number 7 wrong because I was thinking names and dates would be in the body of the email and the subject line would contain a brief statement which encompasses what the email is about. And looking back through Ch. 5 on page 108 it doesn’t say anything about adding names or dates to subject lines. Page 108 also states that action information including dates and deadlines are included in the closing.

For recall practice 6 I got number 2 wrong. I was thinking that approaching an audience that needs to be educated on a topic is different than giving someone bad news so the answer should be false. Again if I took the time to think through the question better I would have concluded that they are structured similarly in that they both include details and ease into the subject.

I got number 2 wrong because for some reason I got the diagram of the buffer-closing stuck in my head and answered false to the question “Bad news, whether in person or in writing, is usually better received when reasons are given first”. I was thinking that the buffer is first so the answer would be false because reasons are given second for example in the next question.

#3 The components of effective negative messages are:

Buffer, reasons, bad news, and closing.

I think I may have gotten the question right if the question stated “Bad news …is better received when reasons are given before the bad news.