Business Writing Fall 2017 Blogs

Dear UH Commons,

This fall 2017, I was fortunate to be a recipient of the “Phil Hagstrom Endowed Scholarship” as part of the UH Commons Scholarship Program. Unaware of who he was,  I  decided to do a little research about my benefactor. I learned that Professor Hagstrom was a faculty member who taught history here at Windward Community College for over twenty-five years  He was an avid reader with quite a collection of books that were donated and the proceeds allocated toward his scholarship fund.

This endowment has enabled me to pursue an Associates Degree and eventually a Bachelor’s in Fine Arts. It is my hope that you will continue his legacy through future contributions from the Windward campus, the University of Hawai’i System and other community donors to benefit future students.

 

 

 

 

 

I think using words that do not totally highlight the bad news is the best. Using words like you have to pay the fine instead of saying you were charged $150 dollars is much better. It also does not stick out like numbers do in a letter. Another thing is to mention a promotion or special occurring in the future to make it seem like the individual isn’t losing so much money on the situation or that they can get some of their money off in a future investment. Saying something like our business is having 10 % of storewide next month and we look forward to seeing you back to enjoy tons of savings. Inputting this in the closing may help with giving the individual be less bothered by the bad news.

What are you individually going to contribute to your group’s leadership, work requirements, communication, and decision making (see step 4 above)? What previous experience with group work have you learned from that you can use to make this experience as collaborative and productive as possible?

1. I am going to take over the role as the project manager, I am going to ensure we have proper communication as well as meetups until we present our project. Also to make sure everyone is doing their parts, and if someone needs help in their workload that we all help each other to finish a an outstanding product. I am also tech savvy and am taking speech 251 right now, so I can help a lot with the slide as well as with writing out our presentation if needed. It is important for the project manager and facilitator to remain on top of things. I have found out from previous groups that it is useful to talk about something within the group assignment constantly so everyone stays on track and committed to their part. The thought of the project will never be off our minds until it is turned in.

Explain in your own words your understanding of the formal report project, the peer review evaluation procedure (last page of the Formal Report Project Guidelines/Rubrics) and the step 5 questions above:

• • What aspects of the topic are most important for you to research? Why?
  • What are your best current options for follow-up research on this topic? (For example, new keyword or subject search options, names of experts, or cited studies/books/other sources)

2.  An important topic for myself to research would be how higher tuition college with financial aid are taking the opportunity of a lot of students unable to qualify for financial aid at a cheaper tuition due to funding reasons. Also how unqualified individuals are still receiving financial aid preventing someone else from qualified from receiving the benefit. Finding the amount received by high tuitioned college from financial aid and figuring out the difference from a cheaper tuitioned school.

Review the Team Effectiveness Pit Stop form below, then answer this question: What can I do to help my team achieve 7s on the pit stop form when we fill it out in 3-4 weeks?

3.   It is crucial we all have a part in each part of the project, that way we can all tackle it together and not everyone is left doing a whole part themselves. It also splits up the work evenly, because the slideshow and presentation won’t take as much time as the research and paper. We all need to put effort into each category of the project, as well as communicating often. Communicating often, reminds everyone about the project constantly, even if it is saying something like, how are you doing on your part. By doing that it constantly keeps everyone reminded. As the manager I plan on setting deadlines before the actual deadlines so we have a cushion to sharpen our final product before it is actually due.

Dear Future Donor,

This year’s Ho’olaulea had over 4,000 families and friends in attendance and provided affordable food, free entertainment, and local products for purchase. This year, we had some local performers including Kapena and the rock band MK on stage as well as rides for the keiki and a car show for the adults. The yearly event strengthens community bonding, as well as provides a safe venue for local family’s to reach out and connect to the Windward Community College and other resources.

During this event, the campus community is able to connect with many potential nontraditional students, who may feel that a college degree is unaffordable and unattainable. Countless booths are set up to provide resources to any and all who may have questions ranging from the cost of tuition to childcare. By providing these resources, WCC is enabling members of the community to achieve their full potential and obtain their goal of earning a college degree.

This annual event relies heavily on volunteers and financial support from the community, students, and alumni of Windward Comunity College. Though much of the financial and physical support is donated, the remaining cost of putting on this yearly event is in excess of $50,000. In order to accommodate this cost, we are reaching out to both graduates and the community who have personally enjoyed this event or have seen the positive effects this annual event has had on our community.

Please help us continue this fantastic event by donating directly to Windward Community College. Any amount is appreciated, and by donating today you will help ensure that the Ho’olaulea will be around for many more years to come. Also, your donations are tax-deductible. Thank you!

Mahalo,

Windward Community College

 

Research Exercise 2: Individual Write up

1. What are you individually going to contribute to your group’s leadership, work requirements, communication, and decision making (see step 4 above)? What previous experience with group work have you learned from that you can use to make this experience as collaborative and productive as possible?

• I will contribute what I can when needed by working on my sections and also being available to help others as much as possible. Our groups leadership (Wanda, Alyha, Shelia) do a great job leading, and keeping the group on track and organized.
• I will add to communication and decision making by adding ideas to discussions and keeping open communication with the group.
• I will draw upon the lessons I learned from the spaghetti and marshmallow exercise such as having everyone’s thoughts and ideas being heard and making decisions as a group.

 

• 2)Explain in your own words your understanding of the formal report project, the peer review evaluation procedure (last page of the Formal Report Project Guidelines/Rubrics) and the step 5 questions above:

• The formal research project:

Is a 15-page project on a topic of our choice which deals with college financing.

• Peer Review Evaluation Procedure:

The Peer Review Evaluation Procedure is a review by the other members of your group where everyone evaluates each other’s performance.

            Step 5 questions:

1. • What aspects of the topic are most important for you to research? Why?

The most important aspects of our topic are clarifying the assistance veterans, the average student, and low income students are eligible for. It’s important to me because I think there may be students who aren’t aware of all the financial assistance they may be qualified for. Another aspect that is important to me is I would like to clarify if there is a discrepancy between the amount of assistance low income students get compared to veterans. 

 

1. • What are your best current options for follow-up research on this topic? (For example, new keyword or subject search options, names of experts, or cited studies/books/other sources)

-We have a meeting Friday Oct. 13^th with Stephen Chigawa from financial aid

  and we should have more ideas to research after the meeting.

-VA on campus resource: schedule a meeting with Karen Puu

-Ebenefits information site

-Continue follow up on Forever GI Bill.

3. Review the Team Effectiveness Pit Stop form below, then answer this question: What can I do to help my team achieve 7s on the pit stop form when we fill it out in 3-4 weeks?

To help my team achieve 7’s on the pit stop form I can encourage the learning and development of the team, make sure we all understand our goals, ensure control is shared by group members and influence goes to the most skillful and based on performance. I can also make sure different ideas are integrated by trying new ideas and approaches and commit to solutions, keep an open dialogue, listen, give positive feedback, and thus learn from, encourage and trust my group members.   2)

 

1. What are you individually going to contribute to your group’s leadership, work requirements, communication, and decision making (see step 4 above)? What previous experience with group work have you learned from that you can use to make this experience as collaborative and productive as possible?

   Leadership- Provide feedback and guidance when needed, as well as keeping up with our progress in relation to where we should be and providing encouragement when needed.
   Work requirements- We are splitting up the work requirements equally, but if there is anyone who may need some help, I’m sure all of us are willing to provide input.
   Communication- I will pay attention to all forms of communication that we choose, and we will be sure to schedule appointments that work for everyone. If that’s not possible, I/we will relay the information to whoever was unable to attend.
   Decision Making- Our group has agreed to a dictatorship-type policy, and I will be sure to remain flexible regarding the decisions being made.

2. Explain in your own words your understanding of the formal report project, the peer review evaluation procedure (last page of the Formal Report Project Guidelines/Rubrics) and the step 5 questions above:
   • What aspects of the topic are most important for you to research? Why?
   • What are your best current options for follow-up research on this topic? (For example, new keyword or subject search options, names of experts, or cited studies/books/other sources)

The formal report allows us to pick the audience that best fits our topic. The report consists of a title page, letter of transmittal, table of contents, executive summary, and the following sections: problem, background, discussion of findings (to include graphs/charts/data), conclusions and recommendations, and works cited.
The peer evaluation procedure is a summary of what we personally feel each member contributed to the overall project. Its scored on a percent scale, and the percent we receive will be reflected in our individual grade. Grading in this manner makes group work more fair because those that contribute will get the grade they deserve and vice-versa.

The aspects that are most important for us to research is Hawaii’s cost of living vs other states. This is the basis for our argument, and may be used to demonstrate how the funding residents in Hawaii receive may not be sufficient when compared to other states with a relatively similar cost for tuition.
My best follow-up research tools are EBSCO, IPED and possible information that we may be able to attain from financial aid here on campus.

        3. Review the Team Effectiveness Pit Stop form below, then answer this       question: What can I do to help my team achieve 7’s on the pit stop form when we fill it out in 3-4 weeks?

I believe that the best way to help my team members attain 7’s on the pit stop form is to encourage participation and create and maintain an environment conducive to learning and team work. As long as those things are provided, the opportunity to get all 7’s is within everybody’s grasp.

 

PWC 5: Message Analysis

Date:      October 11, 2017

To:         WCC: ENG 209 Students

From:     Kellie-Ann Kahumoku

Subject:   The Importance of Writing Instruction Messages

 

Aloha WCC Students,

 

Instruction messages must clearly explain how to complete a task. You may be asked to write instructions about how to repair a paper jam in the photo copier, order supplies, file grievance, or hire new employees. An instruction message follows a straightforward, direct approach and must use plain and familiar words and sends a clear message.

 

Before writing instructions for a process, be sure you understand the process completely and create logical steps in the correct order. Here is a writing plan for instruction e-mails and memos that will help you get started:

 

• Subject line: Summarize the content of the message
• Opening: Expand the subject line by stating the main idea concisely in a full sentence.
• Body: Divide the instructions into steps. Arrange each step in the order it should be completed by using bullets or numbers and start each instruction with an action verb to clarify instructions. Be careful of tone when writing messages that give order
• Closing: Request a specific action, summarize the message, or present a closing thought that benefits the reader if you are encouraging use of the process. If appropriate, include deadline and reasons.

 

Following these guidelines will save you work and will help you improve on writing instructional messages. Any other questions or concerns, please contact me via email: xxxxxxxx@hawaii.edu or I am available during office hours: Mondays and Wednesdays from 9am-11:30am and 3:00pm-5:00pm in room 122 at Manaloa building.

 

Mahalo,

Kellie-Ann Kahumoku

Question 1 Passive-voice verbs enable you to depersonalize an action. Answer-True. I thought it was to deemphasize an action.

Question 2 Bad news, whether in person or in writing, s usually better received when reasons are given first. Answer-True. I chose True because I highlighted it in the margin of my textbook on pg. 191, but, it did not record and I didn’t notice that until I checked my score.

 

 

As I said, I’m not a good test taker. After reviewing Question 1 about the most appropriate closing for an e-mail message or memo, I realize that the best choice was A. Please submit your report by August 1 so that the information can be presented at the seminar on the fifteenth.   It contains a pleasant request, a deadline date and reason for the request in the closing. I don’t know why I chose C; maybe because of multiplicity because it was identical to answer D.

Question 2 Samantha must use e-mail frequently to communicate with others in her new job. What is the best advice to give her? Answer A. Consider composing important messages offline. was my initial choice because I recall reading that in this chapter, but, reference to the subject line in answer B made me change my first answer.

According to PSYBLOG  the standard advice for multiple-choice tests is: if in doubt, stick with your first answer.

 

Dear potential donor,

Your tax deductible donation to Windward Community College will greatly benefit our programs here on campus. With your help WCC will be able to create a scholarship to help a broader range of students. The scholarship will go toward helping those who don’t qualify for financial aid but don’t have the funds to go to school full-time without taking out student loans or working full or part time to afford to go to school. Your generous donation will go toward relieving some of the financial burden of these students and allow them to fully focus on their classes and fulfill their potential.